


that girl with the lights comin' up in her eyes

by snnycarisi



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: (this is very trope-y just roll with it), Canon Compliant, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Awakening, Getting Together, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:34:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24353680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snnycarisi/pseuds/snnycarisi
Summary: Landing on Kay’s doorstep, Beverly had never felt more like a runaway child. Just a silly little girl with dirty hair and grime under her fingernails she couldn’t quite get out. Any moment she expected to be picked up by a police officer and driven home, back into whatever Hell she was living at the time. This all changed as Kay threw open the front door.
Relationships: Beverly Marsh/Kay McCall
Kudos: 5





	that girl with the lights comin' up in her eyes

**Author's Note:**

> just a little disclaimer- I've had some major writers block recently, and taking a step away from big projects to do this was helpful but this fic isn't, like, particularly amazing or anything. It's very sappy and a little cliche but you know what, I don't really care lmao anyway I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> title is from Somebody's Baby by Sidney Gish

As Beverly stepped off the plane in New York, she realised she had no idea where to go from there. Her husband was dead— perhaps the most convenient thing the clown had done for her, thank God for the small favours— and she’d been offered a place to stay in Austin, where Ben lived, but had turned him down. Being in the city again, it hit her that home was the last place she wanted to be. The house she had lived in would be empty. Worse than empty; it would be a wreck. At least, that’s how it was the last time she saw it, and she didn’t feel the urge to check and see if she was wrong. 

Approaching baggage claim in search of her duffel bag, she cursed herself for not taking Ben up on his offer. But really, she knew why she’d done it. She loved him of course, she  _ knew  _ she loved him, but deep in her heart she also knew that love was no stronger than what she felt for, say, Mike, or Eddie. She loved him but not the way he loved her, and going home with him knowing that would have been cruel. Bev didn’t know  _ why  _ she couldn’t just fall for him the way she felt she should and part of her felt so broken for not wanting to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him stupid. 

She told herself it was just shock, and once she’d had time to process the events of the past week, something would click and she’d be on a plane to Texas without a second thought. It just hadn’t happened yet. She would just have to wait it out a little longer, then she could finally get her fairytale ending. But while she waited, she would need somewhere to go.

Bev winced as she pulled her phone from her pocket, turning it on for the first time in three days. To be fair, most of the notifications were work emails, which was only a little disappointing. But along with that was the 24 missed calls from Kay McCall and dozens of text messages. Bev pressed redial. 

On the second ring, Kay answered the call. “Holy fucking God, Beverly, what happened? Are you okay? I’ve been trying to reach you for—”

“Yeah, I’m okay now.” she replied, cutting the other woman off before she could work herself up too much. “I’m sorry for worrying you, Kay, but I’ve had a few things on my plate.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” she half scoffed, half laughed, “I saw the news about Tom’s accident and I’d say I’m sorry but…”  _ but we both know I’m not _ was left unsaid. For once, Beverly didn’t mind. 

But the ‘accident’ had been the last thing on her mind, and she could have done without the reminder. Luckily (although, no matter how much she told herself it was, she couldn’t fully convince herself this had worked in her favour) what the cops saw at the scene of Tom’s death was a drunken car crash, where he had worked himself into a rage before setting out to search for his wife, killing himself in the process. There was enough magic left after It’s death for them to miss the bite marks in his flesh and the chunks that were missing, having been ingested by It. Still, it looked like an accident, so Bev would never have to explain to a jury that he’d been killed by an interdimensional alien clown. So yeah, maybe it was lucky. 

“You still there?” Kay asked anxiously, drawing Bev out of her thoughts. 

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I’m just… just really tired.”

“I hear that.”

She sucked in a deep breath and set aside her pride for the second time that week, then asked, “would it be alright if I came and stayed with you for a few days? Just until I can sort everything out with the house.”

“Of course, hon, you know my place is always open to you!” Kay exclaimed. 

She  _ did  _ know this; in the past Kay had always made a point of complaining how large and lonely her Upper East Side penthouse was, but Beverly had always dismissed it, assuming it to be just her trying to coax Bev away from Tom. It wasn’t like she’d ever have to do that anymore.

So, grabbing her bag off the conveyor belt, Bev made her way towards the Taxis waiting eagerly outside. 

* * *

Landing on Kay’s doorstep, Beverly had never felt more like a runaway child. Just a silly little girl with dirty hair and grime under her fingernails she couldn’t quite get out. Any moment she expected to be picked up by a police officer and driven home, back into whatever Hell she was living at the time. This all changed as Kay threw open the front door. 

Before either woman could speak, Kay threw her arms around Bev’s neck and held her tight. The bad thoughts flew away, like a balloon caught by the wind, and smashing her face into Kay’s frizzy hair made everything feel better. _ It smells like strawberries _ , she thought faintly, and squeezed Kay’s sides until she worried about hurting her. Bev realised, then, that everything was really, truly over, and she was safe now, safe here with Kay. She hoped the tears she felt welling in her eyes weren’t too obvious. 

“Well fuck. Next time I want to kill my husband, cover it up and still look hot afterwards, I know who to call.” Kay said, a fondness in her face despite probably knowing her joke would fall flat. Surprisingly to even herself, Bev laughed lightly. 

“Nice to know you’re as sensitive as ever.” 

“Yeah, it’s all part of my charm, baby.'' Sometimes, like now, Kay would exaggerate her New York accent to make Beverly roll her eyes. It felt good to find so much familiarity again, because at this point she was starting to feel like a different woman, and she wasn’t sure she liked it. 

Kay led her inside and showed her where to leave her bag and shoes, even though she’d been there probably hundreds of times and knew perfectly well. 

“Tired?” she asked. 

Bev realised that, while she knew it was dark outside, she had no idea of the time. She hadn’t been paying attention. Checking her phone and seeing it was past midnight, she suddenly felt the exhaustion of the past few days settle in her bones and she nodded in response.

“Alright. Let’s get you set up in the guest room then.”

* * *

After being there for less than twenty minutes, Bev had already taken a quick shower, dressed in a pair of Kay’s old pyjamas (that didn’t quite fit right over Bev’s much taller frame, but she appreciated it nonetheless) and crawled under the freshly pressed sheets of the bed in the spare room. Kay scrambled around the room, fluffing her pillow and setting out a glass of water for if she was thirsty in the night. It was kind of funny, and although she didn’t really need it, it felt good to have Kay fuss over her in a way that was almost maternal. It was just nice to be cared for, really, properly cared for for once in her life. As her cheek touched the far too expensive pillowcase, Bev felt her eyes begin to droop. 

Kay made her way across the room and closed the curtains, then turned out the lamp, plunging Beverly into darkness. That all too familiar anxiety crept up in her chest, and the phantom smell of damp rot infiltrated her nose. Fighting to keep her breathing as even as possible, Bev clamped her eyes tight shut. 

“Need anything else before I go?” Kay asked from somewhere near the doorway. 

For a second, Bev didn’t respond, just focused on making sure her voice wouldn’t shake. “No, I’m fine, thank you.”

Kay hesitated in the doorway, her hand slowly twisting the knob as if she was waiting for something but Bev wouldn't think just what she was waiting for. 

“Do you… do you want me to stay?” she asked, uncertainty suddenly present in her voice, which was rather unnerving. Kay was never unsure of herself, and if she had been, Bev wouldn’t have known it. 

It was silly and childish and made the colour rush to her cheeks, but Bev  _ did  _ want her to stay. With anyone else, she might have protested, been stubborn in her pride and said no even though that was the last thing she wanted. But through everything, Bev had never felt judged by Kay, and that hadn’t changed. 

“If you want,” she mumbled, still a little embarrassed. 

Kay chuckled softly. “Gimme ten minutes and I’ll come back and join you, okay?”

Bev hummed in response, and shifted over to make room in the bed for the other woman, breathing a deep sigh of relief. 

* * *

Kay’s hair tickled Bev’s cheek, and despite how tired she was, she just couldn’t make herself fall asleep. It wasn’t because she’d been pushed so far towards the edge of the bed by a sleeping Kay who was used to sprawling out alone in her king-sized bed, and it wasn’t even that she could hear Kay’s soft snores in her ear. What kept her awake was the manic thumping of her own heartbeat as the other woman inched closer, eventually draping an arm over her waist, and ending up with most of her body pressed against Bev’s. 

Butterflies churned in her stomach making her feel hot and fidgety all over. It was odd— she’d felt those butterflies before, countless times, but not the warmth that came with it. That was new, and oddly thrilling. Maybe, it was because right now she didn’t have that nagging feeling in the back of her mind telling her she was always putting on an act, always trying to impress and there was always a part of her she was keeping concealed. She didn’t feel that way now. Now she was just completely and authentically Beverly. She suspected this was because Kay was asleep and, really, she was alone. But somehow, a smaller part of her knew that wasn’t the case.

She thought back to being a kid, when she had first felt her cheeks go pink and her stomach flip with fondness because of the way someone looked at her. Bill, her first crush, first  _ love,  _ first person she felt was really on the same wavelength as her. She could remember even now how it felt to sit next to him in the tall, itchy grass of The Barrens after the others had gone home, that anticipation for  _ something  _ to happen next inflating her chest but leaving her feeling breathless. She remembered standing to leave but then he was closer than he’d ever been before and she could feel his breath grazing her lips. She kissed him, and, as she had assumed most first kisses went, it was rather disappointing. She remembered pulling away and cradling his cheek in her palm and feeling… nothing. The anticipation was gone, and everything else had gone with it.

But even as an adult, she found herself left with a disappointing feeling of, ‘was that all?’ after kissing Bill. But then, it was probably just because she realised he wasn’t Big Bill anymore, he wasn’t their leader, too noble and wise for his own good with a head full of an idealistic sense of justice that only a child could possess. Now, he was just a man. 

What was most confusing to her was why she hadn’t felt it with Ben. Because when it came down to it, he was perfect for her. He was a good man with a huge heart and he loved her unconditionally already, so she wouldn’t have to work for his affection. But when she tried to imagine a life with him, one where she came home to him after work and ate with him then went to sleep in his arms every night, she just couldn’t picture it as  _ her  _ life. Maybe Derry had just fucked her over so badly, she was now incapable of wanting good things she could easily have. What a sad thought that was. 

Suddenly Kay stirred, and shifted away from Bev, momentarily leaving her feeling colder and more alone than she already felt, but that changed when she tapped her shoulder.

“I can tell you’re awake, Beverly, you’re thinking too loudly.” she mumbled, voice thick with sleep. 

Bev rolled onto her side to face her, and couldn’t help the corners of her lips twitching into a smile at the sight of Kay doing the exact same thing.

Kay reached out and lazily brushed the pad of her thumb against the crease between Beverly’s brows. “See, this is how I know you’re thinking too much. Gotta smooth those lines out.”

“Maybe I want to give myself wrinkles,” she quipped back, relishing in the touch but still not really knowing why. 

“Hm,” Kay hummed, “you’ll look distinguished, that’s sexy.”

Although she knew it was a joke, it still tugged at her heartstrings every time Kay dished out compliments so easily, like it was nothing and like she didn’t want anything in return. It was already familiar to Bev, who had been her friend for so many years, but sometimes it still caught her off guard. 

Lying there, just inches away from Kay’s sleep softened face, Bev felt strangely content, and in that moment couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else but there. 

All of a sudden, something possessed Bev to shift closer, until the tips of their noses were touching. She thought of all the times in the past where a kiss hadn’t turned her into a princess like she might have expected, but now thought to herself,  _ what do I have to lose?  _ Before she could think it through, she closed the gap between them and lightly pressed her lips against Kay’s.

The kiss was soft, and the faint smell of the perfume Kay had worn that day flooded her nose, heightening her senses. Kay gasped quietly before reciprocating the kiss, sending a shiver down Bev’s spine as she shifted impossibly closer, until it felt as if they were one. 

Bev’s mind emptied, the thoughts that had kept her awake seemingly melting and pouring out of her ear onto the pillow beneath her, and all she knew was strands of Kay’s hair tickling her jaw and Kay’s nose clumsily knocking against her own and Kay’s soft lips moving against hers. Beverly’s whole soul felt warm, like Kay was breathing fire into her very being. She reached forward and curled her palm around Kay’s smooth cheek, and relished in the fact that she could  _ feel  _ the blush radiating from her skin. 

Before things went any further, Kay pulled away, but kept her forehead pressed to Bev’s. Her eyes were wide and slightly shocked, but there was also such delight present, that was hard to ignore. She lifted her head and instead buried it in the crook of Bev’s neck, and their bodies perfectly slotted together in an embrace. 

“Sleepy…” she muttered into Bev’s neck, “time for shut eyes.”

For a second, Bev became nervous that she’d done something wrong, and now— even though she herself didn’t really know what she was feeling or wanting— Kay was just looking for a subtle way to turn her down and forget this had happened at all. But again, Kay just lifted her hand to Beverly’s face, and poked at the crease between her brows. 

“No complicated thoughts right now, Doll, go to sleep. We can talk in the morning, if you want, or just kiss some more if you’d rather.” Bev laughed softly, and was glad Kay’s face was hidden from her, so she wouldn’t see the colour rising in her cheeks. 

Eventually, she did fall asleep. It was easy to set aside her thoughts and focus on the rise and fall of Kay’s soft chest pressed against her stomach, and listen to the other woman’s breathing until her own evened out. 

  
She didn’t know what she wanted or if there  _ was  _ anything to talk about in the morning, but it didn’t matter. She had all the time in the world to figure it out. For now, all that mattered was the peaceful sensation of pure joy settling in her mind, and the warm body beside her. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on twitter @PATTYURLS !


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